Today was a busy day! But every Tuesday is going to be for awhile! Bible study is so much fun! I LOVE learning God's word, it makes me feel closer to him! As a born again christian I am still flabbergasted at the price Jesus paid for MY sins. I can not believe someone did something so selfless. I could go on forever but then I would never get to sleep.
My husband, Crunchy, he has never been believed in Jesus or religion for that matter. However, through the power of prayer and the Grace of God he has seen the light and recently got baptized. On that day a man told one of our pastors that he wanted to reach out and help my husband since he was a new believer. What an amazing thing for him to say and do! My husband talked over the phone with him a few times then today while I was at bible study Crunchy met up with him at the church and they talked and my husband offered to help in anyway he can. Now he is going to be coming with me every Tuesday to do some volunteer work at the church. I am so happy for him in the aspect that he is taking steps to be more involved. But I can't help but feel that I still haven't found my little niche.
Yes, I go to a women's bible study, Yes I meet and talk to all kinds of wonderful women. But I didnt really have anyone reach out to me and offer to take me under their wing to answer any questions to help me find my footing so to speak. Granted, I didnt really think I needed someone, but I actually do. I feel like an outsider looking in most of the time, except during the actual bible study. I've realized that besides God, I desperately need more friends and an outlet to pour some energy into, to do something anything in the Church body, in the name of the church... etc. You get the picture. I hear that small groups are a wonderful place to begin doing just that.
But, while I want these things and I yearn for them. I am a coward at heart about meeting new people. Especially ones that have known the Lord so much longer than me and feel so at home with who they are. Standing next to these amazing people I feel kind of like a fraud. Like I don't know what I am doing there. I don't belong. And it has nothing to do how the people are acting or talking to me. In all honesty I think it's Satan attempting to get me to turn my back again. Placing doubts in my head, and heart. I know that I am NOT a fraud, that I LOVE the LORD and that I am blessed and saved by his Grace and his grace alone. I did nothing to warrant the blessings and love that God has placed on me. I am a sinner. These things I know. I also know that to OBEY the Lord is to WORSHIP HIM. I will be obedient to the Lord.
I may not have found my niche just yet at church, but I have found a family in Christ.
You may not know this, Jess, but Chris asked for help after the baptism! Mike had offered to step in with any new believer who wanted a mentor and it was very simple to put the two together. Simply asking may be a humbling experience or even hard for you to do, but it is an act of faith. Think about Noah gathering wood and supplies, building the ark, year after year - when he'd never seen rainfall or flooding before. He stepped out in faith. God's Word talks about building up each other in the knowledge of Jesus Christ - by faith, you can step up and ask for help. Mike and his wife both are on board with discipleship and my suggestion for you would be to step up and ask Mike if his wife would be willing to do some discipleship with you as well. One of the reasons we are going through the study that we are this year is to help new believers get a foundation on the general timeline and stories of the Bible, all seen through the lens of Jesus Christ. This is a great place for you to be, but joining a small group or getting some one on one discipling would also be a big help.
ReplyDelete