Re-reading my last post, I began to see more and more of how whiney I was. What was wrong with me?
Actually, nothing was wrong it just must've been a low point in my week for me. I also believe that I was little bit jealous.
There is nothing to be jealous about. If I want a change, then I need to be the one to initate the change. I can not just wait around for someone to hold my hand and tell me where to go, what to do and how to do it.
I could easily put the blame on my husband. Saying that he makes all the decisions, he pays the bills, he takes care of everything. He even drives everywhere because I don't have a license. But the blame isn't even half his, in fact the his blame is very minscule.
I don't have my license for a number of reasons, the main one? I'm scared to have it, I see the damages the destruction and chaos that ensues from drivers on the road. So while I yearn for the freedom of a license and the ability to come and go at will, I am also relieved that I don't have to do battle on the roads.
But, the time has come for me to stop being a little whiney baby and to develop into a mature responsible adult. I mean really? I am a mom to a wonderful 1 year old, and I can't legally drive? Enough! In 2 weeks if everything goes according to plan then I will get my permit re-instated and begin practicing and in about another month I will hopefull be fully licensed.
No more being babysat, no more being reliant on someone else to get somewhere. It is time to grow up. One step of many to come.
Oh and on Sunday, (if I see the person) I'm going to ask Crunchy's mentor to ask his wife to be mine. If I don't see him on Sunday for some reason, I will ask him on Tuesday! Changes are coming, and they are going to wonderfully FABULOUS!
"When you have to make a choice and don't make it; that is in itself a choice." ~William James.
A perfect quote for how my life has been up until now. From now on I will be consiously making a choice.
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